Have you noticed that U.S. Presidents get gray hair quicker than many of us? Elected to office with their natural hair color, in four years or less, its starts greying faster than the skies of Seattle. Now, of course it's a demanding, hectic, high pressure job in spite of all the perks- free house, free airplane, more than a couple servants, and bodyguards, to name a few. You become the leader of the free world, constantly being watched by every American and the media, and asked to please everybody, all of the time. And, therein lies the rub. Asked, no demanded, to please everybody all of the time. Try as they might, no President can do it, and as Abe Lincoln said, "You can please all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." If not assassinated, Abe would have had no hair at the end of his term, let alone gray.
Picture yourself with 27 kids, 11 teenagers, 4 geriatric relatives, and 6 wives (or husbands), all living with you in your four bedroom, two bath home, wherever. Add to this, at least 18 co-workers, or friends, stopping by your home, daily, to give you advise on how to do things, why you're screwing up, and news about the planet that would sour a sour apple. On top of this, if things don't get better, they say, you'll be out of a job. I am imagining this is what its like to be President. Would you get gray- fast? Hell, I have one tenth of this, and have considered suicide, at and times, a murderous rampage.
Being President requires a multitude of ass-kissing, keeping the big lobby groups happy so they'll help fund your reelection, pleasing some countries, and bombing the others, listening to your advisers, and having to say no, or yes, a thousand times a day and hoping your right. "No Mr. President, we have to bomb now to free those in less fortunate countries", says the Secretary of Defense. You don't want to, but Boeing aircraft is sitting on pins and needles to get the contract for 110 F-22 fighter jets, or 27,000 people will lose their jobs. "Yeah drop the bombs", you say, because you don't want to hear from those Union jerks because you put all those members out of work. Oil? What oil? You mean if I don't hold back alternative energy, the oil companies won't fund my party? Shit, the last thing I need is the head of the Demo-pubs bitching about lost funds because I told Exxon to bite me. Nope can't have that. Oh no, the Christian right says no to me fighting to keep abortion rights or the entire bible belt will rise against me, but if I side with them every Roe vs. Wade supporter will call me unconstitutional, for not keeping the separation of church and state? Toxic cleanup? Yeah, I flushed. Taxes, hey I gotta get paid. What?, I can't legally fire the Director of the IRS, without congressional approval , but I can bomb someplace in Libya at my will , even though it later turns out to be school? Money for the banks? Let the Fed handle it, because my predecessor Woodrow Wilson gave them the right to handle our money, so it's not my fault. No jobs? Go figure. I'm certainly not gonna tell those big corporate cash guys to try and keep a couple jobs on US soil. And the geriatric crowd? "I fought in WWII, and if you cut my social security, I'm gonna cut off your friggen balls, sonny!" And who can blame them? Where's FDR when you need him.
Tough job. You bet. Do I think the Presidents are always right. No. Some of them shouldn't even be President- without naming names. Like pleasing that crowded house I talked about earlier- yeah, I think that's close- and like that house, we sometimes need a autocrat. Someone to say, "Hey that's enough crap. We need to do this to fix that, and we're gonna do it"! I mentioned this in a previous blog. A dictator for the moment- just to fix some serious problems. That's the President I'd like to see, the old Harry Truman, the buck stops here kinda guy. By the way, Harry had grey hair going in.
I doubt, at least since about John F. Kennedy, who I believe was killed because he told someone in his "house" to go rub salt in their ass, and said, "I'm doin it this way!!", that we'll ever see a President who takes control and gets something done because it's the right thing to do.
I'm sending this column, and a coupon for Just for Men hair coloring, to our current President, Barack Obama. I think he's gonna need it.


Recent Comments