As many of you know, the state of New York just became the sixth state to legalize same sex marriage. With cheers form the gay community, and much to the chagrin of the many opposed, marriage shot up in the state almost overnight. The marriage industry, as I will call it, (it's also referred to as the bridal industry, but I can't classify who might be a bride anymore), got an economic shot in the arm like never before. Marriage, or the act of it, not only helps morale, but creates purchases in a big way. Just ask any father of a young women getting hitched, who just shelled out thirty or so grand for the wedding.
Before I go any further, let me state that I am not going to give my opinion about same sex marriage. Nor, will I go into my usual tirade about how screwed up the government is nickle and dimeing and "bureaucrating" (I made up this word), the new newlyweds before they hit the sheets on the honeymoon. No, this is something else entirely.
You see, my dear reader, why does the government have to get involved at all. Why does marriage have to become a legal act. Ok, I can hear the lawyers choke now, but why does anyone need approval, or permission from anyone to be married? Why do the courts, legal systems, and government entities need to register the marriage? Why can't marriage be a moral or religious issue, only. "Oh but Goodfella, are you nuts or something", say some of you. "You have to register it or no one will know you're married". Got a ring- wear it. I see a girl with a diamond ring on her hand, and that says something. Ask her father who spent all that money on the "ceremony"- if he can talk after the stroke- and he'll tell you she's married. None of this has to do with the county clerk. "What about kids? You can't have kids without getting married?" Tell me where in the law it says this, friends. Know anyone who has kids, and not married to the father or mother? Call them what you like, but that thought you're having about the "immorality of it" is based on morals, not legality. "But, I get a better tax write off as a married couple, and my insurance premiums are lower", says you. Yeah, so it's about money now? All that love went away? Those out of wedlock kids still can still be used as a big write off, so put away the prophylactic tonight. Insurance, I've put a few girlfriends on my insurance by checking "other" on the form. Pay the premiums, and they'll get covered. If your employer wont add them, then pay the difference yourself. You love them, right? "If he's married to me , legally, it forms a tighter bond with my partner, and he'll be more loyal to me". Yep, heard this from a lot of girls. Let me ask this- would it hurt you less if he cheated, and he was just a boyfriend? Would you feel better taking a hammock ride with the boss, girls, if the guy at home wasn't your husband? Or would you just hide it better? Ha? Got news- if you are truly in love, and have some decency about you- man or woman, you won't cheat because you are in love- not because a priest said "you may now kiss the bride". In fact the words "till death do you part", is now "as long as you're happy". Go to any grammar school and ask the kids how many of them live with both of their real parents, and I'll bet less than 20% raise their hands. Sad, but true. Lastly, "What if we end the marriage, if it's not a legal one, I don't get money from the rat for cheating on me, and who gets the kids, the dog, the house?". Ok, according to today's rule the money and house are little harder to get, but there is a thing called cohabitation, and once you agree on this, it's becomes like a business partnership. Yes, you'll get a share- maybe more than your share. I checked with an attorney on this, and they still get paid too! The kids- its the same as getting married. Laws of custody and child support still apply. I know this, I had a girlfriend who gets all of it, and not by being married to the guy.
I think I covered most everything. My point to all this- shit, I almost forgot my point! My point is, no marriage should have be sanctioned by any government. We eliminate al the questions and control and another level of bureaucracy. Now I'm not against marriage. Marry anyone, same sex, other sex, no sex, or hell, marry a goat for all I care. Like I said, whether I agree with any kind of marriage, or not, isn't the point. Just marry. Hell, animals don't have to debate this crap. They don't even get married, even religiously, and get along fine. They don't even have any lawyers! Now whose the dumb animal?
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