The Goodfella

All That News

People always ask me, "So what do you think about today's news?". While this statement covers a lot of ground, I figure every once in a while I'll highlight some daily news stories I found interesting, and all my readers can see what a sick, twisted viewpoint I have about them.

So here goes.

Today is November 3, 2010

The San Francisco Giants celebrated their first World Series win since they left New York in 1954. This is good news, for those of us in the San Francisco Bay area. Of course, I remind people they originally came from my old stomping  ground in NYC, but they're here now, and although I've been a Yankees fan for many years, the Yankees couldn't beat the Rangers, (what the fu*k happened?), so what am I thinking. In fact the SF Giants literally stomped the Rangers. My sympathies to the Bush family.

Jerry Springer celebrated 20 years on TV today. Yes, I have watched some shows, but only a few. As a person who is in the TV production business, I always wondered what the draw is, but Springer's raking in the cash. I guess it's just about watching people, kind of like sitting in the mall and commenting about every fat-ass, dork, geek, and complete asshole we see. In this case though, it's amped up, and includes fist fights. Gotta love it. My dilemma though is whether to congratulate Mr. Springer for his success, or condone him for contributing to the complete moral and intellectual breakdown of society by pointing out that some of us have not evolved that far from chimps. What do you think?

Face-book reduced their font size, driving their members crazy, as it's now harder to read. Looks the same to me, what are they talking about?

Freddie-Mac, the governments mortgage backers, lost 4.5 Billion (yes that's a "B") in the last quarter, prompting the Federal Reserve to call for loaning it money. Where in the name of Jesus and the seven Apostles are they getting this money?  Oh, that's right, the Fed controls the printing presses. Need cash, the Fed prints more- not for you and I though. Soon the dollar will be worth a nickel, and the Fed and the Chinese  (who own many, many US Treasury bonds) will own everything.  Remember, the Fed is a privatly owned banking system sanctioned by our lovely Congress.   Mr. Bernanke, please, I need a loan.

Thirty tons of marijuana was found in a tunnel at the border near San Diego. They were waiting for Prop 19 ( California legalization of pot) to pass, then flood the streets of L.A. with it. It didn't pass, so they were going to flood the streets of L.A. with it. Oh wait, I just said that.

And the biggest news today- drum roll please- the mid-term elections. Yes, like the headlines said, we took back our country (!!). First the Republicans had it, and promised change, then the Democrats had it and promised change, and now the Republicans have it back and promised change. Yes, there will be change. I will change my underwear in the morning, I will get change back from my coffee, I will give change to a charity solicitor, I will change my diet, my employees will change the time clock (in their favor), and more than likely I will change the channel several times on my TV. Probably when Jerry Springer is on. But I have a feeling, that's the only change I'm going to see. I can only hope I'm wrong.

Until next time- that's all the news I wanted to print- fit or not.

 

il Duce

So after my last article about getting off my social/political editorials, and focusing on life's little details, some of my readers posed suggestions and questions that place me right back in the thick of my usual ranting on how, and why the world runs the way it does. So with mid-term elections coming up, how could I resist.

Although I always have been, and always will be a defender of the Constitution and Bill of Rights in this country, I will spin heads on my readers, and the dead bodies of our forefathers, by stating publicly, that we need to abandon those papers in one area, for just one four year Presidential term. What we need in this country now, is a good dictator. You read right, a dictator. The title of this article is "il Duce", Italian for "the Leader" and a term applied to Benito Mussolini, Italy's fascist dictator during WWII.  No, we don't want a Mussolini, but we do want the leader. We want a benevolent, positive leader, who will get the job done in spite of the rules, the politics, the payoffs, the threats, the egos, and all the other BS that goes with the job. How is this possible, you ask? Well, it probably isn't, as they will probably get impeached or overthrown, as it will be a direct violation of our nations laws. No check and balances, no vetoes, filibusters, or constituencies, just someone who will get the job done- no matter what.

All the talk today about "throw the bums out", "time for a change", and all the Tea Party, this party, that party rehetoric, won't give us a leader, just the same old crap, in a different suit. As my favorite satarist/comic, Lewis Black says, "the Democrats and Republicans have become both the same, like a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror". And, I agree. We need change alright, but not like the changes every candidate promises, but never follows through with. They can't follow through because too many cooks are spoiling the soup. Even when someone has a good idea, it's thrashed about, changed, and altered to try and please everyone, and all the political contributors. That's why we wind up with a two year wait on a bill that starts out good, but ends up being 3,000 pages long, that nobody understands, or cares about anymore. Things are too complicated, too overdone, and too convoluted to work.

Let's get back to that dictator. Let's find that man or woman that can say, "Here's the way it's gonna be"- we got great groundwork laid out by the founding fathers, lets keep that and make only those changes that suit as many as possible in our modern times. Everybody wants a rule on immigration, fine, in three sentences, on one page here's the law. All of you want new and fair tax laws, good- here they are, that's it, story over. That's what the dictator would do. Fix it all, then after four years- they're gone. Rules set. Game over.

Now, some of you are thinking you can't simplify that much. I say, we can. We can try. What have we got to lose- nothing. Of all the candidates running, they all say the same thing,- better this, better that, less this, more that, and it never changes. Taxes keep rising, wars keep going, economies keep sinking, and all under the weight of what we call, politics. So, this election, don't vote for anyone. Write in a name of a person who's running for Senator or Governor, who would be a good dictator in the next presidential election. I, personally, have reached a sense of "numbness" about politics, and would gladly dictate myself. But, who the hell am I in the voters eyes. The word has a bad connotation, but in reality, a true leader, an 'il Duce', is what we need.

By the way, about the simpler things in life I was gonna start writing about- some people told me they like $3 a bottle wine and this girl I know likes Little Caesars Pizza. The wine I could live with, but after the pizza, I had to call the suicide hot line.  Just thought I'd let you know.

 

Saving Private Citizen

So its been a few weeks since I wrote a blog, and of course, in all the work, misery, and drudge I've been through lately, you had to know that the "great government bailout of 2008" had to be the issue that motivated me to write again.  So here it goes...

I know a family that lost their home, their car, their savings, and all of their pride and dignity because the breadwinner, whom we'll call "dad", got laid off from a job he had for 11 years.  The company he worked for became unprofitable, and was forced by its investors to outsource their manufacturing overseas to keep payroll costs down, so they can continue doing business.  Dad, being a good citizen and father, took any work he could to keep the bills paid and keep food on the table. Unfortunately, those menial jobs didn't pay enough, and the bills piled up. His credit rating plunged, and the banks closed his delinquent credit card accounts, and refused his request for a loan to keep the home fires burning. Disillusioned and dejected, he was forced to live in a two room basement apartment with his wife and three kids. Now, buying a weeks worth of groceries takes half a paycheck, and gas for his car so he can get to work, takes most of the other half. He is an American citizen. He worked all his adult life. Never committed a crime. Always had respect for others, and raised his children to stay in school, off drugs, and help those who need it. He will continue on under what is sometimes is unbearable pressure, because he has no choice. He loves his family.

If you are better off than this guy, consider yourself lucky. If you think it can't happen to you, think again. The circumstances may be different, but the end result can be the same, or worse.

Today, October 3rd 2008, our government gave $700 billion dollars to the banking and financial institutions of this nation to ensure they remain solvent. But, if you think "Dad" can go and get a loan tomorrow at the local branch of his bank, you're got some serious psychological issues. If you think the economic conditions in the country will now change, stop smoking whatever it is you're on. If you think the credit market will loosen up so the company that Dad worked for can get a loan to keep hiring Americans, wake up- you're dreaming. If you think that the homes of those who are at the edge of foreclosure wil be saved, (it's too late for Dad), you're watching too many happy ending movies. Only the institutions, our banking systems, will be saved, so they can continue to pay their CEO's and senior executives millions, and satisfy the "fat cats'' of the investment markets so they don't lose their millions.

Our "politicians" made a grave financial and moral mistake today. The 700 billion given to guys like Dad would have given every American citizen over the age of 18 about $100,000. They could have paid off their credit cards, bought a car, put a down payment on a home, or paid off some of their mortgage. Now, that's real help for the economy. Most of the money would have gone back to the banks, which would have helped their "insolvency" issues. For our politicians, our leaders, our bureaucrats, that would have been too risky. That would have put the power in the peoples hands. Democracy slowly dies, tyranny is born.

Usually, I have a few jokes or sarcasm in my blogs. This, however is serious stuff. Saving the citizens is what will keep this country going through tough times. They are the country. "By and for the people"; that's what America is.  That's what the country was founded on, and that's what we need to keep it alive and great.

 One of our founding fathers and former Presidents once said,

 "I believe the banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow the banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, than by deflation, the banks, and corporations that will grow up around the banks, will deprive the people of all property, until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."     Thomas Jefferson 1802

If you feel they way I do, I urge you to forward this blog, and your own thoughts, to your elected officials. I urge you to check the Senate and Congressional role on this vote, and not ever re elect those that voted in favor of this bailout. The right to vote is one of the last true unobstructed freedoms we have, and the only one that can really make a difference now.

To all the "dads" of this country, and all those working class citizens and small business owners, keep going no matter what- you will live on long after the banks fail and keep swallowing each other up- you are the true power of the America.

 

Unreasonable Men

Today, I'm very upset. I'm not upset over business being off, expensive gas, the high price of food, or that my dog took a dump on the carpet. No. I'm upset over a story I heard on the local news tonight, that gnawed at the very heart of what I call, "government interference". Keep in mind now, I don't consider myself anti-government. I am not promoting the campaign of some unknown candidate who thinks the entire social fabric should be dismantled. I am a regular hard working American citizen who believes in this country, understands that we need laws, and will fight for the rights that our forefathers died for. But when those I voted for to lead us, and those I support to guide us, whether in my voting district, or not, do unreasonable and un-American things, I have got to speak up. I have to use my right to free speech and press.

Now that I'm done with my preamble, let's look at what got me going.  My local news (ABC 7 San Francisco), reported that the city of Clayton, California, shut down a roadside fruit stand operated by two young (ages 6 and 11) girls, based on a single anonymous complaint. The police explained to them,that it is illegal to operate a business such as this in that zoning area, without a license, and that the stand was causing a traffic jam.  The ABC reporter interviewed the neighbors, and none of them noticed a traffic problem, nor did they care about the stand being there, and that the produce was actually quite good. Next they interviewed the mayor, a Mr. Greg Manning, who stated, "The rules are the rules" and regardless of the fact they were just little girls they had to shut them down. He also stated, "Who knows, next they might be selling chickens and eggs"!  The only chicken they should even think about selling is this sniveling little weasel of a mayor!

Now, there is what is called the letter of the law, and there is also the spirit of the law. All cops and attorneys are taught this concept in their respective places of education. Here, we have the letter of the law being enforced. Now some of you hardliners are saying , Well, it is the law, and they broke it".  Think about this though, if every police officer, prosecutor, and judge went by the letter of the law in minor incidents like this, we might all do some jail time.  These are kids, selling fruit in a little stand in front of their home. I can picture this Norman Rockwell slice of America now. It's not three guys from Budapest selling carpets on a street corner, or two guys from Italy selling meatballs out of their garage. ( I'm Italian so I used this one so nobody is offended). It is two little girls. They should be commended for their efforts in American capitalism, and selling a healthy product, not some sugar laden soft drink. They are learning to run a enterprise, not glued in front of a computer or TV, or out trying to learn how to run drugs.  Get over it Mr. Mayor !!  Protect those kids from child predators, or terrorists, and protect their parents from crooked mortgage brokers or burglars.  I mean you got one - read again -one complaint about this, and the person didn't even have the guts to identify themselves. Maybe it was you Mr Mayor, because you were bored.

Now some of you reading this from Kansas or Maine are probably saying, "So what, it doesn't affect me".  Think about it. If one person, and some bureaucrat can do this to a couple of kids, what about you? In America we have rights, and they shouldn't be eradicated by some small town dictator. What will be the letter of the law that comes down on you or your loved ones? Yes, we do need laws, but real laws that protect the good from the bad.  Let our police go out and catch some real crooks.

I urge everyone reading this to send an email to the Mayor of Clayton, telling him to find another job. His email is gmmann@hotmail.com. I'm sending this blog directly to him. He's gonna love me for this one!

National Confusion

So many things to write about. So little time. Occasionally, like now, I have trouble picking a subject to write about. There are so many things going on in the world that affect us. I mean we've got economic issues, security issues, an upcoming presidential election, war in Iraq, thinking about war in Iran, and the possibility of the world ending in 2012, just to name a few. There's so much, it's confusing, and confusing to all of us. 

I've already put my two cents in about the election, and some economic factors on other blogs, but what I never realized is that some of the things I read and hear about are just strange. Everything seems to be tied together in some nonsensical juxtaposition that makes everyday living just friggen confusing!  Everybody I talk to, or deal with, is having a problem, and they walk around like they have cranial rectalitus ( the medical term for having your head up your ass). Why? I don't have a firm answer, but let's look at few things.

The stock market is up one day, down the next. Normal you say? Yes it varies, but it has more highs and lows lately than my Bi-polar ex-wife. Oil goes up, it goes down- Wal Mart has a good week, it goes up- General Motors tanks, it doesn't move at all- and McDonald's comes out with a new menu item and everybody starts buying on margin!  Confusing? You bet! Anything at all makes it move 200 or 300 points. Our illustrious leader G.W.Bush said the market is "drunk", and dumb as this sounds it also makes some sense.  Where is the validation?  The Wall Street gang is as confused as the rest of us.

Here's some more. $4.00 for a loaf of bread! $20.00 for a Pizza, (A good one, not that Little Nero's crap or whatever the name is)!  I won't even touch the gas thing. How much to send the kid to college?  The adjustable rate mortgage kicked in and the payment is how much?  Whadaya mean I'm laid off? Heating oil is going up this winter?  What, this is a toll road now?  My son is broke and coming back home to live?  My sixteen year old daughter is pregnant!! The dog has aids?!?!  Wow, I'm confused.

And more. Tomatoes have salmonella- no, wait, it's jalapenos- or is it just peppers? Booze is no good for you- no, wait, those that have one or two drinks a week live longer!  Chocolate makes you fat, but dark chocolate prevents heart disease. Cell phones give you brain tumors, but just some of them. Little cars save gas, but big cars save your life, especially when a big car hits a little car- or is it when a little car hits a big car?  Open a free checking account, but the bank might fail. Drink tap water to save money, but its contaminated, so drink bottled water that has no minerals which is bad for your health, or drink vitamin water that has calories, or spring water that who knows if a deer didn't take a dump upstream and contaminate the spring??   Still confused?

Here's a beauty. Being widely distributed on the internet, is the information of our demise in an apocalyptic ending of the world on December 12, 2012. This will happen by the earth being slammed by a huge asteroid, or more popular, a planet called Planet X, in a rogue orbit, will collide with earth. Another theory is attack by aliens from another planet, and of course nuclear war, which will, naturally, begin the the middle east. More confusion. Which one is it?  Nobody really knows, but this was all started because the Mayan calendar stops at December 12, 2012. Think about this. What makes this calender so damned important? Were they really prophets as reported on the internet?  I say, a couple of Mayans assigned to work on the calender had a little problem. Maybe, they just quit. "Hey, Jose, I'm tired of this calender crap. We been at it for 500 years. Let's just quit". "You know what Miguel, you're right. I just saw the Chief's daughter in her new outfit for the alter sacrifice, let's go chase her around"!  And they left. Or, "Hey Miguel, you put one more date on this calender wheel and I'm gonna break your knee caps because you're doing this instead of tryin' to get the pesos you owe me!" And Miguel just ran away, never to be seen again.  I think that was a scene in The Godfather, but they used Italian guys and a roulette wheel. Anyway, maybe they just quit. Maybe that's when the Spaniards invaded. No one can validate this story anymore than 2012 being the end of the world. It's just more confusion.

In spite of it all, like you, it drives me nuts if I think about everything. Concentrate on living one day at a time. Do whatever you need to do to provide for yourself and your loved ones (no robbing banks though). Be happy you're here another day, regardless of how screwed up everything is. Sure, the economy might collapse, but what can you do but keep on going until it does. Even then, keep a safety net of a little cash or gold under the mattress. Don't want those salmonella infested peppers, or whatever, switch to brussel sprouts (yuck!), or eat the peppers anyway and get a good clean out.  Will the world end in four years, maybe. It might end tomorrow. If you hear about the big asteroid coming, and see that bright fireball in the sky,what can you do about it anyway?  Me, I'm going to the highest hill I can find and enjoy the best fireworks display ever, second only to dying while having sex with the woman I love.  I can tell you this much, worrying about it all, and becoming more confused and frustrated, might give you a heart attack guaranteeing the end of your world. That's the one thing I'm not confused about!

 

Wackos on a Plane

Flying. What a wonderful experience!  What a pain in the ass! This is the one mode of transportation that draws more attention than a Mini Cooper filled with twelve naked clowns. Why?  Because it's both miraculous and frustrating, and after 9-11, can also be a little unnerving. Lately it's been getting alot of press, and not just for rising fuel costs, and multiple airline bankruptcies and mergers. Nope. What amazes me, is the increase of what I call "wackos" on a plane. Those that create havoc and problems for both passengers and crew, with little reason why, other than to just be jerks. I wonder what these people are like in a regular setting? Maybe they're just nice people who are affected by a change in air pressure. Maybe they're so scared of flying, creating a scene is better than quietly crapping in their pants.  Who knows. I'm not a doctor, but someone should do a study on this.

Recently I've read about a guy who grabbed a flight attendants ass, (I tried this once, but I had the foresight to do it in the terminal), a women who punched a flight attendant because she was told she couldn't smoke on a plane (this was banned about 20 years ago, so this passenger was obviously on more than cigarettes), a guy who got so drunk he started tossing ice and glasses at the crew, and a whole family that was tossed off a flight because the kids were climbing around the plane and screaming like chimpanzees while in flight.  I could go on and on- more drunks, more fights, more screaming, yelling and kicking, and my favorite one, the guy who was in a hurry to get off the plane so he opens the emergency door and deploys the chute. Yes, this actually happened.  What the hell is wrong with these people?  Now, a lot of you might think, "Hey, the airlines are the problem. The flights are cramped, the snacks stink, the prices are high, the luggage gets lost, the planes are late, and the crews are rude."  Yes, you'd be right sometimes. I mean, even a broken clock is right twice a day. So that justifies rude behavior? Use your head! Got a complaint, let the airline know, but don't sacrifice safety at 30,000 feet!

So here we are, in an aluminum tube, about 12 feet in diameter, about 150 feet long, flying six miles high at about 500 miles per hour (for you plane buffs that want to criticize, this fits a 727-200, the most common model used), and then some jerk wants to cause a problem? He starts screaming about how screwed up the flight is because he wanted peanuts, and all they had left was a bag of pumpkin seeds. The flight attendant, some 30 something, 110 pound female, goes up to this 200 pound six foot male idiot and tells him to calm down, so he starts using more four letter words than an episode of the Sopranos.  At the same time, some three year old in the seat in front of him, starts crying because he's afraid of this guys big mouth, so the mother of the toddler, who weighs about 220 herself, turns around and tells him to shut up. He promptly responds with a hearty ,"Up your ass lady", which results in another flight attendant coming up, a male this time, who looks like he couldn't make the badmitten team in high school ( I'll get some flack from male flight attendants on this), and says to him, "Sir, you have to calm down now or......."  "Or what, you'll throw me off the plane?", responds the idiot. "No, sir", says the attendant, "we will have to restrain you until the pilot lands".  So here's me sitting across the aisle thinking, restrain him? These flight attendants couldn't restrain a goat. The wacko stands up and says, "Yeah, you and who else". So, me being the hero (I think), says, "Me, that's who else!" The guy in front of me says, "Yeah, me too". He was bigger than me so this will help. Than I thought, a fight on a plane?  This is nuts. There's about 160 people in this tube with a 26 inch aisle, and three guys and two flight attendants are going get into a brawl with this jerk? Sugar Ray had it easy compared to this. What if we hurt this guy?  I mean so what, he's a jerk, but what do you do with a guy who has a compound fracture in his arm at 30,000 feet?  It takes an hour to land even when you're over an airport these days. "Excuse me, just step over the guy with the busted arm laying in the aisle if you have to use the lavatory, sir".  What if he dies, or worse yet, what if I get killed in this fight?  "Please don't use the lavatory on the left lady, there's a dead guy in there".  "Sorry folks, no coffee on this flight, we had to crack the pot over some guys head to calm him down".  Hey, it could happen.  We could just toss him out the emergency exit while we're up here, and those that don't get sucked out of the plane can enjoy the rest of the flight.  It's a thought.

Yes, the guy was restrained by the attendants, calmly, and brought up to the front of the plane so they can keep an eye on him until the landing. I guess that's one way to get into first class, without buying the upgrade. My point is, why create a problem when safety is involved. A bus, a cab, even a train and you can stop and toss the person out. Not on a plane. You're stuck with 100 or more other people until you land. No, "I'm pissed, I think I'll go for a walk".  No, "The service stinks, I'm leaving".  You're stuck. You and everybody else. So if, flying doesn't agree with you, or your upset at the airline because they didn't calculate your frequent flyer miles right, don't even get on my flight. Drive, take the bus, and complain to the airline when your on the ground. Keep the kids calm, and your shoes on (the odor!), because at 30,000 feet we all have to live with you.

By the way, someone let the flight attendant know that I'm upset that those jerks in security took my.....never mind, I'll shut up now!   

Stimulate Me!

By now, a lot of people have received their government stimulus checks. These checks are supposed to stimulate the "stuck in shit" economy.  Everyone, the government hopes, will to go out and spend this money to keep things moving. And they are. On food and gasoline. Why? Well our government did such a good job on our economy, that two staples of American life, food and fuel ,have gone through the roof. I mean, they were expecting us to buy a new car with the money? Maybe a down payment on a house?  How far could the money go? Some of us probably saved it, which is a good thing, and some of us who have ample incomes, are probably blowing it as a down payment on a Rolex watch. Most of us though, spent it at Wal-Mart and Costco, according to the the news. Food, cheap clothes, and gas.

I've got another problem with this stimulus thing. Wasn't that our money to begin with? If we didn't spend it, wouldn't a lot of the cash have gone to new $2,500 toilet seats for the space shuttle, or maybe it would have bought a few scud missiles for the war in Iraq. By the way, it's hard to take a crap in space, since the seats have to vacuum seal. No astronaut wants shit floating around the space shuttle, you know, with that zero gravity thing and all. Either way, it was our tax money that the government got, and then gave us back some. They would have spent it anyway, so wouldn't  that have stimulated the economy?   Of course, its always better in our hands than theirs. No offense against astronauts, but they can crap in a plastic bag for all I care. Stimulate the economy, though? Who's kidding who? The cash returned to the taxpayers will be gone 24 hours after they get it. It will stimulate things for about two days. About 60 per cent of the checks went out by the date I wrote this, and the stock market went down, my neighbor is still behind on his mortgage payments, and I still owe money on my car. Nothing has really changed that much, except that Wal-Mart and Costco are a lot happier.

If the jerks on Capitol Hill really wanted to stimulate things, maybe the checks should have been around five thousand bucks. Now that's something. Maybe someone would have used that for a down payment on a car, or spent it traveling this summer to offset the high airline tickets. Perhaps the government could have controlled fuel prices, so the cost of a couple tanks of gas wasn't equal to half the check they sent you. Maybe they should quit bailing out the banks that made bad loans, and sent that money to the taxpayer, or try and keep as many jobs as possible on our own soil. Now you're talkin'!  No matter how you look at, this was about politics. It's looks good that the politicians are helping the taxpayer. Checks in the mail are always a sedative for anyone who's pissed off that a box of cereal now costs five bucks. I don't even get that, its cereal- what the hell is in it? A bag of groceries can run sixty bucks. Imagine some poor working guy with a wife and three kids. Boy, that check went fast!

So what do we do? Write to these idiots in D.C. and tell them to stimulate this! Quit blowing our tax money on bullshit, and make it work for the good. Get back to a government "By and For the People". Yeah, I know I've used that one before, but that what it's supposed to be. Vote out the bad ones, and if we can find one, put a good one in office. Even if we can't find a good one, vote to keep the tide turning, and maybe when they figure out they can't get re-elected unless they actually do something, they'll change.

As for me, I didn't even get a check because I owed a few hundred bucks from my last years taxes. You can't get away with anything these days. I guess I'll just have to stimulate myself!

Once, Twice, SOLD ! at $5.00 per Gallon

Okay, I've got to weigh in on this gas price situation. I know that half the editorials, news reports, and blogs across the country have already beat this subject to death, but I couldn't hold out any longer.

You see, I'm one of those people that drive a big gas-guzzling vehicle. A Chevy Suburban to be exact. When I bought it, I was divorced with a grown son. I don't know what I was thinking, but I like big cars, and many times take friends to a ballgame or on some road trip because the truck carries up to eight people. Actually, since most of my friends drive Hondas and Toyotas, they seek me out for the road trips because I have the biggest car. In fact, since I'm not at at my ideal weight (ahem!), I don't think I could even fit in most Hondas. The Suburban rides like a dream; safe, comfortable, and gets a miserable 14MPG. It also has an extended range 32 gallon tank. Now, you do the math at $4.50 per gallon average price in Northern California, and you'll know why I had to take out a home equity loan to fill up the damn truck!  Don't be too hard on me now, because I bought the SUV in 2005, and gas averaged around $1.78 a gallon. How the hell was I supposed to know?  If I could have predicted the future, I'd be a millionaire off the options market, and wouldn't give a crap what the price of gas was. Now I'm stuck with it. No dealer wants to trade without me losing my ass.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. "Tough", you're saying, "you bought the beast. Too bad."  Some argue," Hey quit whining, if you calculate out a cup of coffee at Starbucks, it's about $16.00 per gallon"- or-" In France, or England, they pay about $9.00 per gallon for gas".  Yeah, well I say, bullshit!  First of all I don't drink Starbucks by the gallon, (I'd never get out of the bathroom if I did!) , second I don't need Starbucks. But I need my gas. For work, or to go to the store, or doctor. Its a necessity. Mass transit, or a bicycle, is not always convenient, or accessible. At least not for me. As far as England or France goes, both those countries are about the size of some our states. They have had transit systems in place since Moses wore short pants, and are highly accessible. Many people there, are already, and have been, riding scooters, and three wheeled sausage mobiles for decades. Their consumption of fuel is nowhere near that  of the United States. So, yes, we should be getting a volume discount. A big one. OPEC or not, most of the refineries and fuel distributors are American companies.

So whats the solution? Drill more oil in Alaska? The environmentalists would hate me, (they're not happy now because of my SUV). Drill more offshore of California and the Gulf. More environmental protests. Save the whales. Find an alternative fuel? That's one solution everybody wants but,- which fuel. My Suburban will run on ethanol, but the closest station is in Nebraska, and I hear it's about $3.95 per gallon. Whoopee, I save about 15 friggen cents per gallon. How about steal the crude? Our military is already over in the Middle East, so lets take a few tankers. After all, we're always there protecting them anyway. Our men are dying to keep them safe. Get a squad together and take a few tankers back!  Yeah! Well, maybe that's not feasible.

I could go on, but really what it boils down to is greed. Simple plain old greed. The oils companies have never seen higher profits. The guys in the white sheets, (the OPEC guys, not the Klan), have never had a better life. C'mon George and the rest of the Capitol Hill gang, wake up.  We know you know. I have no problem with capitalism and companies profiting, but when they hurt all of us, its a different story. I don't want to hear about supply and demand. I don't want to hear about market conditions. It's GREED! Knock it friggen off. Its not profiting, it's extortion.

We need to try and approach all solutions. The government needs to look at some price control. Yes, we need to drill more on our own turf,(sorry Orca). We need to find alternative fuels, and we need to conserve. All political and social groups need to give in a little to resolve this. But these things take time, so we need to start now. When we have more control over this, our wallets and lives will be happier. It may help save the U.S. economy. If we don't, $5.00 per gallon is coming, and we all suffer. No more plane trips, no more road trips. Less money for food and those things that add quality to our lives. And at $5.00 per gallon, then I will have to lose weight (a good thing), so I can fit into a Smartcar!!  Okay, maybe a Ford Focus.

   

Can't Touch This !

Beginning in California, July 1st, 2008, you have to have a hands free device to use your cell phone in your car. Most states already have this law in effect. In those states, including California, however, it's not illegal to text while driving ! How the hell did they miss that one !  I mean if you're going to ban holding the phone in you hand, you have to ban touching the phone at all. But wait;  what about dialing?  If your phone doesn't have voice dial, you still have to touch the phone to dial !  Touch this, don't touch that, I mean, what the frig is it all about?

This is another half cocked law to try and save lives. Yep, lives ! The lawmakers though, never seem to complete the circle. Now, everybody gets to hate the cops because they pulled you over for having a cell phone in your hand. What other crime?  You mean there's more important crime than this? Absolutely ! Our tax dollars are hard at work taking the time of our police away from more important things. Soon, they'll ban putting on makeup in the car (you haven't seen this?), eating while driving, (I've done this), and grabbing your significant others ass ! - Hmm- I wonder how they would enforce that one?

The real question is, should you talk on the cell, eat, put on make-up, or whatever while driving ? The obvious answer is no. We've all done it, but the answer is no. Concentrate on driving the friggen car.  Should their be a law ? No. Why waste time. Why use up public safety officers to catch the bad cell phone or ass grabbing driver.  We all know what's right. Even those cell phone addict teens that talk so much they may have found an alternative fuel- their mouths- know what's right.

Now you're probably asking "What about saving the lives?".  Save your own life- use your head.  How much mothering do you want the government to do? Statistics show that hand free devices don't help that much when your mind is on something other than driving. Get off the phone. Remember when there were no cell phones? You got by then.  Pull off the road if it's so damn important. Let 'em leave a voicemail.  I don't how most people even get things done, they're on the cell phone so much.

Now insurance companies probably want these laws because it might save just one life. But believe me they're worried about the cash payout, not the life. Seat belts save lives, and now that everyone wears one, did your premiums go down? Some bureaucrats want the law, again because more fines equal more revenue. Overall, the thought is good , but passing a law for any of this stuff will be more of a pain then its worth.  If we're gonna pass laws to saves lives on the road, try making cars safer. Try keeping idiots from getting a license. You know what I mean. How difficult is it to use some common sense?